July 2005 - 7th Mth

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! GOODNESS!!! Its the 7th mth of the year! Its been so long!

Hi hi hi! Anyone missed my words? My blog seems to be breeding spiders and spinning webs. For those who wondered where have I been, READ on. ;)

Ok, its official finally that I'm no longer in the sales line. I've quitted. Resigned to the fact that sales is not my cup of tea. But I still sell my silliness to people around me daily. I'm currently in the business of keeping people happy and satisfied at the expense of my personal time and well-being. However, the job that I'm holding now gives me more satisfaction and more responsibility. Its a 54 hour per week job. The satisfaction comes when I'm able to finish the over-whelming tasks that customers pile on me daily. Even though my eye sight is failing me little by little daily from staring at my huge 21 inch monitor, I'm still satisfied leaving my desk at near 10pm daily. I tell myself constantly that only the fittest will survive and stay in this job. Its war everyday! Sometimes we win, but these days the casualties are heavier.

Its crazy! Customers screaming, tasks piling by the minute, superiors breathing down your neck, negligible toilet breaks as there is never really time for that, huge burden to clear work during lunch-out, nagging inner voices tell of eat-in lunches daily to finish clearing the work, constant tugging in my heart to tender my resignation, further consistent tugging of the heart to handle more customers for a better year-end appraisal, hungry tummy daily as dinner is skipped to earn extra $20 for extra 2 hrs of OT, snacking constantly on junk food to subsitute as regular meals and always getting completed tasks rejected by other depts. Not an easy job. Anyone want to work in this line? We're still recruiting ... ... since most people cannot take prolonged pressure. But I need this job. I have my dream that I'm working towards. Its a hard life. Its never been a bed of roses for me, neither has it been for most people ... so no point complaining. I just want my dream to come true in 1.5 years time.

Internally I've been reminding and consoling myself so as not to give up half-way as I've done in most of my life. I see the reward before me. White, glorious and pretty. I want a bride. A family. A life. I'm glad that I have someone who is working with me currently to fulfill my dream. Its been 7 months. 17 more months before I can fully realized my hard work. She's my comfort and my confidence.

All these time that I've not been able to blog is mostly because my time is committed to my work. My short weekends are spent with church, friends, family and Kai. Therefore I'm left with little or almost no time to do anything else. Btw I'm also having driving lessons after work, and I'm starting to train for my IPPT when I'm home after work. I'm stretched! But it feels good to blog again. 2 hrs less sleep for me tonight. Heh!

I'll be back again ... ... soon?

May 2005

My long awaited first entry since 58 days ago. Have you missed my blogging!!!!! keke

Have I been down recently that I had nothing to write about in my own blog? Well, I've been rather busy with my work and daily activities. Once I hit home, I'm normally totally drained and brain dead. Its not that I have lost expressing myself over the web to expose the nitty gritty details about my life. Blogging takes up a lot of my time, as I have to sift out only the highlights of my life. As I have a tendency to "just do it" and writing all the juicy details of my life. Hurhur.

Firstly, I would like to thank Yuyun for this wonderful blog template that she has chosen for me. Hurhur. Its a far cry from my wild clubbing days. As I was shopping in Takashimaya yesterday,I happened to remember that my most handsome friend Marcus is working at Ralph Lauren boutique. He is tall, fair and very much like Takashi. If you are single and would like to get to know a pretty boy, just look for him. There is only one Takashi-looking guy there, so its quite easy to spot him. Both of us used to hang out together playing games, clubbing, having midnight suppers and wallowing in sorrow daily. I realized that I have changed quite a fair bit ever since then. No more clubbing, smoking, late suppers and wallowing in sorrow! Life is pretty good now. Best of all, I'm back to church again. Heh. And I thank Yuyun again for the blog template that fits my life so appropriately now.

Recently, I realized that I have a very strong desire to dominate and influence people if I'm given a chance. However, if there are stronger Alpha males around then my true self would normally be subdued. I have a bunch of new colleagues mostly ladies. I feel "myself" when I can crack childish and silly jokes, and seeing them laugh in horror that an older guy like me can be this silly. However, I feel self-assured and confident of my own value even though I'm making a fool of myself. At least I feel appreciated amongst my colleagues for lighting my their working environment.

Nothing can really get me down on my mood, unless someone really criticizes my character or my balding head, or if my Kai is in PMS mood. Hurhur. Yesterday, I tried out a new trick to pacify Kai before she feels frustrated and become unhappy. I told her to scold my palm and frustrate all at my palm. Keke. It worked! She was giggling after that. It just feels really good to be able to understand and have a deeper understanding of the needs your partner has.

Well, my dear friends ... I miss you! Especially those overseas friends! Will you just pack up and come back!

The Sith RuleS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kekeke

Good Morning!!!

Its a Monday morning again!!! As usual, I overslept again on a Monday morning even though I slept early the night before. I presume its due to the fact that psychologically I dread facing the "terrifying" customers that also bemoan the blue Monday. All in all, its a vicious cycle whereby Monday would always feel blue throughout all levels of the working society. At least I'm able to seek comfort in God and the memories I had over my wonderful weekend.

Monday seriously sucks but I feel assured and given strength whenever I whisper a help to God. It works somehow. At least I feel that I'm able to survive through this day with at least 1 angel guarding my back, if not hopefully 10,000 legions of angels. Heh. I doubt I ever need a request for such a fearsome force on my back.

Good morning! Thats the first thing I would like to to say to Kai each day coupled with kiss. Ahhhh ... I had such a wondrous weekend with her. We actually wanted to have a weekend of suntanning, swimming, rollar-blading or maybe even rowing. However, the weather over the weekend was not favorable for such activities. So off we went for KTV sessions on Saturday with a group of friends. Hahaha. Kai was singing song after song, performing her little elva and jolin concert. Lalalalalala ... hurhur. Life's really good for me nowadays. But time always flashes by, regardless of how many days I spend with her.

My First Trip To Batam

There are four reasons why Singapore would visit Batam. Firstly, Batam is a place where older men from Singapore would take trips there to visit their mistresses at the Er-nian village for a cheap rendevous over the weekends. Secondly, Singapore take a 45 min ferry trip all the way to the little island to buy groceries because it is three times cheaper. Thirdly, people go there for lewd purposes, to take drugs because its considered legal to take in their night spots, gamble and to have engage in prostitution. The fourth reason, people go Batam for a quick and affordable weekend getaway from work!.

My trip there was not of any lewd purpose but to spend time there with Karen and friends. Our group consisted of about 24 people. Some wanted to go shopping, some wanted to experience the vibrant weekend night life, some just wanted to relax and some just wanted time off from work. Whatever the reason was, it was still a wonderful experience for me.

The first night after we touched down from the ferry, we headed for Novotel Hotel for a shower then straight to the largest techno disco in Batam. Its just directly opposite our hotel. Initially, we were all excited and looking forward to a great time of dancing and drinking. However, it was a great let-down. The drinks there were priced only slightly cheaper than in Singapore clubs. And the music was strictly only for ecstasy pill-poppers. The beat of the music was too fast. The only part of our body that could keep up with the music was our head. So we left the God-forsaken place within an hour. Headed straight back to our room and ordered some supper. Slept around 3am.

Next day, we went for a city tour. The only memorable time we had was at the massage palour and the go-kart race circuit. Karen and I opted for a body scrub cum massage. I wanted the body scrub because I know that not many people had the strength or the techniques to offer me a good massage. So having a body scrub would be a better value for money option. My skin felt sooooo smooth and clean after the wondrous scrub. I felt that I need not scrub my back for the next 3 days. Heh.

The next memorable moment was my first experience at go-karting!!! EVERYONE should try it! Even though the helmets are smelly and full of other people's perspiration. But nothing beats turning at full speed on go-kart and feeling the centrifugal force threatening to flip over the go-kart. Shiok! Heh. I'm a seasoned driver with "NEED FOR SPEED". So I started the race going at full speed not fearing the sharp bends until I nearly flipped at my first turn. Damn shiok! I raced with a colleague and was at his tail for almost half the circuit, and I overtook him at a bend. Hurhur. Damn i'm good. Heh. However, my complacency got the better of me as he took over me later and 3 other guys. I did not want to lose so I sped up and overtook two more guys. The need for speed is exhilarating. And the feeling of having my go-kart spin off track was really heart-pounding. I had a blister on my thumb after the race. That was how exciting and physically demanding it was to race at high speed.

I spent around $300 for a 3 days 2 night stay at Batam, which I think was considered expensive because it was excluding meals. Afterall, the trip was just a medium for Karen and me to have a weekend getaway together and learn to be happy depending on each other.



The awesome race


"5" ... me overtaking the best racer!


Our little messy room


Me and the cutie little Kelly and her suave daddy


Karen and baby Kelly

2 months

Its been a long time since I blogged. I have been busy with work and spending time with my sweetheart. Heh. Probably a little too busy for anything else, which kind of explains the 2 month "pregnant" look of my tummy. Arghhhhhhh!!!

Well, at least I know Karen still loves me despite of my manly pregnanted tummy. However, I did not want to let my 2 months become 9 months so I brought Karen out for 2 sessions of roller-blading. Its really great holding her hand while roller blading along the east coast park. Good for my idling heart and great for seeing my girl in wet perspiration.

I'm going to take up a gym membership to pump up my chest so that my tummy would not be the centre of attraction. Heh. The theory is that guys are always more attracted to full bosoms. So if I have a bigger chest, then I would deem to have a smaller tummy. This gym membership is actually a free membership for a year at Crown Prince Hotel if I purchase a $180 massage and facial package. Heh. I think its a pretty good deal. Although the gym is pretty small with only 1 weights machine and 1 sit-up bench and 1 treadmill only. However, I'm able to make use of the swimming pool. And all these in the very heart of Orchard Road! A great deal!

My Friend, David

He is tall, tanned, lanky and decked with high-tech gadgets and fancy sports shoes. He dresses himself in baggy and large clothings that make him look bigger in life. He rides a Super-4 that i can safely ride and sleep as a pillon rider even when i am drunk. We got drunk and danced together at a particular spot at Madam Wong every Sun, Mon and Tue for a couple of months. As much as we were like to have a bevy of girls with us sharing our bottle of Vodka, we were always alone without girls!

This post is a dedication to the one friend that i could turn to whenever i needed help. He is full of crap, speaks giberish and is extremely childish. Always being silly, acting cute and moody. But a very supportive friend. If anyone wants to write a biography of me, can always go to him as he has most of my deepest secrets. I feel so indebted to him at times. There are so many good times we had together throughout those 12 years.

He taught me the ropes for basketball, counter-strike, in-line skating and in-line skating hockey. During secondary school, we hung out almost everyday playing basketbal or hanging out. He was weird. I remembered me catching a movie lying on the floor at the front row of the cinema because he does not wish to strain his neck looking up on the screen. He was always trying to do something different from others.

We lost touch for some time during my polytechnic days as we were pre-occupied with our own personal lives. We reconciled during my army days and went out to play late at night. Heh. Those were the good fun times when we were both single and carefree. Those days are numbered as he is on his way to Australia for studies. He would only be back 4 years later. My heart dropped when he told me that he would have to go so soon. I was expecting him to leave after Chinese New Year.

My dear friend ... i wish you all the best in your studies! Do come back soon. I still own you a bottle!

My New "24" Hours

Have you ever wondered that 24 hrs a day is simply too little? I used to feel that I had too much time in my hands. However, recently I have felt that my time is so finite. My 1 hr lunch with Kai always seems like only 15 mins. My "old" 24 hrs always felt draggy. Now I just do not seem to have enough hrs in my standard day.

There is nothing special about my daily activities. I eat, sleep, work, pah toh and live a common life. However, I realized that the time I spent traveling now is similar to people in Los Angeles. They spent an average of 4 hrs each day traveling. I have not achieved that standard yet but I'm a little close on certain days. I'm not complaining or whining here. But I realized that I have actually shifted out of my comfort zone progressively. Initially I was expected to only travel to boon lay momentary to send Kai home. But as the days went by, sending Kai home became a part of me. It has drawn me closer to her as I sent her home each time. Somehow, I'm accustomed to the torturous long traveling time and I'm beginning to enjoy the nap time on the rocky ride home.

Sending my gfs back home was never my favourite activity. Its physically demanding and tiring. Hence, I would rather spend the time playing computer games or watch telly. I'm the "ultimate" slacker bf. However as i grow older in age, my maturity towards my life changes too. I define maturity as the ability to accept more responsibilites. Kai is my responsibility now. I do not even think twice about sending Kai home now. Furthermore, her neighborhood is so scary. I can't imagine my baby having to go back alone late at night without an escort. She is afraid of cockroaches, cats and there are plenty of perverts around! I can't bare the thought of her jumping up and down upon seeing the pests. Haha.

I have allowed myself to mature and be consume by love. I define love as a willingness to sacrifice for someone whom I am affectionately attached to. Being consumed by love and responsibility, has made me stronger physically and mentally, even though it is extremely draining. But I have not fallen seriously ill since 26 Oct 2004. I have spent longer hours outdoors each time I send Kai home, yet I am still able to function as per normal. I feel as if I'm able to stretch myself even more now in my limited 24 hrs. I feel more in control of myself as I strive to achieve my goals.

My outstanding colleague and bro Vincent once told me that I am similar to him in personality pertaining to relationship and career. He mentioned that as long as I have a stable relationship, I would be able to focus on career and on other aspects of my life. His words are becoming reality now. My 24 hrs are longer now.